Dream A Little Dream Of Me, Sweetheart
by lanakael
Summary: Liberty and Toby get a little divine inspiration to move on and toward each other. My loving attempt at a tribute to J.T. Complete!
1. Ashley's Party Stinks

_**Dream A Little Dream Of Me, Sweetheart**_

Okay, I admit, though I didn't find the Jiberty ship entirely believable at times, I loved them dearly--it was a treat seeing Liberty get her fondest wish after all those years. And J.T. was like everyone's little brother, I cried BIG buckets of tears when he died. You could tell Ryan Cooley truly enjoyed playing the character, and losing him was like losing a member of the family. So here, finally, is my tribute to him, and to Liberty/Toby as well, who I think would be perfect together. It only makes sense, yes?

_Chapter One_

Ashley Kirwin looked around the room, dismayed. Her parents said she could have guys at the party, but were adamant on them not staying past 11, when the girls would have their sleepover. But the buckets of rain barrelling down outside had prevented anyone from leaving, seeing as everyone had either walked or taken the bus--or bummed a ride with Paige, who'd left hours ago, proclaiming the party a childish waste of her time. Figures she'd resort to snobbery. Marco had ridden with Paige, bringing a reluctant Ellie along with him. Ellie, her best friend, hadn't objected to coming, but to riding with Paige--who she'd never really gotten along with in the first place, but moreso now since Paige had dated her ex, Jesse. Ellie would've stayed, but she had a really big project due for her Psych class Monday and she'd wanted to finish, so she left when Paige did.

And now she was stuck with a house full of brooding guests. Jimmy was staring outside at the sheets of rain cascading down the window. Spinner had come with Jimmy after they'd shut down the store, and had actually behaved like an adult for once--until Paige had shown up, then left. He'd spent about 10 minutes sulking, then reverted to grade 9 antics to convince himself--and everyone else--that he didn't care about her having ignored him before she left. Most of the others blankly stared at the television or blankly plucked at bowls of snacks. Toby's friends were huddled in one corner of the rooom, but they weren't talking. Ashley sighed. It had been a while since J.T.'s death, but the wounds were still fresh, especially during supposedly festive occasions where the boy would've had everyone laughing at his antics. Toby himself sat on the staircase, staring hard at someone. Ashley didn't need to follow his gaze to know who the object of his attentions was. Liberty Van Zant sat next to some girl she didn't remember, one of Toby's friends, Ashley supposed, absently rubbing at her glasses with the hem of her shirt. The girl had fallen apart after J.T.'s death, and Ashley felt guilty for all the years she'd given her stepbrother and his best friend a hard time for being younger-brother jerks. She missed J.T. greatly even though they really hadn't been friends. He'd been a constant presence around the house, and now that presence was sorely missing. Ashley sighed again. This party sucked. Big time.


	2. Discovery, Comfort, Discovery Pt1

_**Dream A Little Dream Of Me, Sweetheart**_

_Chapter Two, Part One: Toby's POV_

There she is, doing what she does best. Brooding, lost in her thoughts. She and Emma sit across from each other, occasionally staring at each other with lost looks. They're only barely seeing each other, though, and I know what--well, _who_--they're actually seeing. I feel the stitches in my heart rip again. J.T. Emma had been almost as good a friend to him as I had, but I know(now, damned hindsight!)that Liberty and I had more in common than either of us had known. Far from silly, nerdy, _annoying_ schoolgirl crush, Liberty's feelings for J.T. had blossomed into something far more adult, far more profound. Even I could see it. And though I know J.T. loved her too, as much as he could, he had far too much growing up to do in order to be her equal. The mismatched pair were ok before Lib got pregnant, but after? Liberty turned even more into herself, taking on both parental roles so he wouldn't have to. Even preparing to put the baby up for adoption until J.T. had pursuaded her that they could make it as a family. Was everyone's head stuck in a book during the whole Craig/Manny crash and burn. Guess not, because Part Two played out between my two best friends. And J.T. truly needed to step up to the plate. And he didn't, not really. Getting the drugs. The trouble over the drugs and Liberty's reaction when she found out, the breakup, the fallout and the overdose. Libery's final leaving J.T. and giving up her baby. I'd never seen Lib so--I don't know. She was almost ignorant of the baby the first six month, almost clinical the last three. I can't ever remember seeing either of them rubbing her stomach or talking to it. Playing music for it. Unless she deigned to eat with us in the Caf, she spent lunchtime alone. J.T. would notice, give her a few annoying pet names then announce she wasn't with us, like I couldn't tell that. That's when I truly started to know I had feelings for Liberty, the annoying pest of a girl tripping after J.T. and me with her public causes and her annoying love for a guy who didn't want her back, and, sometimes, the downright blackmail she used to get J.T. to go to the school dance. I start to frown at her when I remember the time J.T. locked himself in the locker to avoid Liberty. The times he wouldn't take a shower after gym so he could get in the hall and to his classes faster so she wouldn't see. And let's not forget the time he decided _**us**_ being gay would turn Lib off. Youda thunk, right? Oh no, not miss fix-it-up! I think she learned from Emma, damn do gooders! Lib had chased us around the school all day, J.T. wrapped around me in a manner that was going to make me clock him if he didn't move, fluttering and cooing at Liberty "Hey Girl_friend_!! What's up??" while grabbing my hand. I could've killed him for that. And for the look of hurt that crossed Lib's face every time J.T. baited her. The heart wants what it wants. And hers wanted him. And now mine wants hers. sigh.

I do understand the situation, I do. I was wrapped up in J.T. in my own way. The nerdy Jewish boy with big glasses and no interests outside of art, anime, and computers. Many a time I wrapped myself up in J.T. and lived through him, saw the world through his eyes, even as I protested and tried to be the voice of reason. I remember the puzzled relief I'd felt when they finally got together. There was hope for my friend, after all! Then to notice the change--J.T. acting more like a whipped lap dog trotting along after its Master. And Master was never pleased. Everywhere they went, JT would try to joke Lib's way out of her bad mood, and Liberty would snarl at him for something. Then to find out she was pregnant--wasn't Lib too smart for that? You'd think she'd have all sorts of charts and graphs and birth control samples before he could even _**think**_ of touching her--because her blind love for him let JT pick out the condom that fit his ego, if not his...ewww, that's where _**that**_ line of thinking stops.

Instead of continuing to muse, I lay back against the step I'm sitting on, watching the girls. Emma's picking at her cuticles. Some girl I'd run into when RIck and I had made that _stupid_ bet was sitting on the other side of Liberty, making cooing noises and patting her arm, whispering to her encouraging whenever my eyes swung their way. Looking up at me with soulful brown eyes and smiling softly. Is this chick_** flirting**_ with me?!? At a time like this??? Well damn. Liberty gets tired of it quickly, though, and starts to the door. She stops when she notices the sheets of water cascading still down the windows, then spins and heads to the stairs where I'm sitting. She scowls at me as I scoot over--please smile for me, Liberty, I so love your smile--then practically steps over me and races up the stairs. The others look up at her, but muster no enthusiasm to go after her. Or maybe they just think she's using the bathroom. Whatever. I rise, though I know mine's the last face she wans to see, and trot up the stairs. I hear a few gasps and my sister call out weakly "Toby no! Leave her alone, she needs time." Time? How much time have we had? How much more do we need to finish turning into zombies for a friend who's no longer with us? JT wouldn't have wanted this. He'd have wanted laughter and smiles, jokes and playing silly. I smile, remembering, as I push open Ashley's door. Empty. Mom and Dad's room is still locked, a precaution they took after Ashley's last party in grade 9. A few knocks, then a cautious peek into the bathroom verifies it empty as well. So that means...

I creak open my door to see Liberty sitting on my bed, sobbing bitterly. Her hands are over her face and she's rocking back and forth. She's saying things too. Rock forward, "I miss you"...rock back, "Damn you, why'd you leave me?" I just stare at her, wanting so much to stroke her pretty light brown hair. Look into her now puffy green eyes and tell her everything's going to be ok, even if it's not. But most of all, I want to hold her in my arms and kiss her again, like the kiss when she was in the car after the memorial. Her lips had felt so very, very soft, buttery soft, in fact. I don't want to start quoting those awful women's romances, but there you had it. Buter soft, and silky soft when I let my fingers trail over her arm. She's so beautiful, then and now. And I don't know what to do. Finally the tears stop and I reach into my pocked for a handkerchief. Dad says a man always caries one. I offer it to her and she jumps in suprise, staring at the handkerchief suspiciously.

"What do you want? What are you doing here? She asks wiping her face with the sleeve of her shirt. Yup, eyes swollen. Nose swollen, mouth puffy, sunken in eyes and cheeks. She hasn't been eating or sleeping properly, I note, just as I've noticed many things about her lately.

"I want you to use this handkerchief, and this _is_ my room, after all," I tease gently, but it's obvious humor's not on the plate tonight. She's still staring at my handkerchief like it's going to bite her, so I sigh and sit on the bed next to her, too close for comfort. She yelps under her breath but makes no effort to move more than an inch or two away from me. She tips her face up to regard me the exact moment I cup her face gently and make her face me. With my free hand I wipe away the tears that have collected in her eyes and on her cheeks. So beautiful...her smooth brown skin, the yellow lamp on my desk bathes her with its weak light, suddenly casting her in gold. A living statue to be loved and cherished. The greatest of all living prizes, this girl. Except she's not a girl anymore, is she. She moved from her parent's house, carried a baby to term, then reluctantly gave her child up, then buried the only man she's ever loved. If she hasn't sprinted past the winning ribbon of Womanhood, I don't know what else it takes. Her eyes widen, and I think she's about to protest. Fine, as long as she doesn't move. I slip aside a bit of the crochet green, light summer shirt she's wearing, slide aside her bra strap--all this just enough to bare her lovely, rounded shoulder. I press a soft, tiny kiss there. She moans slightly, so, encouraged, I feather kisses over her neck, up to her ear. More soft sighs. She shudders when I reach her ear, whispering hotly how very beautiful she is. Suddenly she lets out a loud sob, turning to face me, closing in and throwing her arms around my neck, then sliding them down my back. I shiver as I grab her hips to pull her closer, loving the swells under my hands. She really should wear clothes that suit her body more often. She's lifted those full, lush lips to mine now and I'm compelled to meet her halfway, my hands cradling her face. How could JT have been so happy with Mia when he had all this intelligence, warmth, and beauty right here for the taking. Oh wait, he didn't. He still wanted oatmeal. A small flash of anger as I remember that word. This girl in my arms is defintely bacon and eggs, and waffles with big, plump strawberries topping it with whipped cream. She's that much-anticipated cup of cocoa with the **big** marshmallow that Mom gives you in the big mug after you've shovelled the snow from half the neighborhood's blocks and sidewalks. And now, she was the fire in the grate when you've been too lazy to just put wood in there, but soaked it with kerosene. This was getting out of control, but I couldn--didn't want it to stop. She was groaning into my mouth as she devoured it, and I was matching it, kiss for kiss, devourment for devourment. Her nails were lightly clawing at my back and I was only moderately glad that I was still wearing my shirt. It would've been nice for those nails to score my back, I suppose, never having had that done to me before. Or much of anything else.

She's writhing against me and I start to feel my body change. I want this girl, have wanted her for quite some time. It feels more than natural when I push her softly away, only to grab the hem of her shirt and yank it over her head. She gasps, eyes widening, but makes no move to stop me. We look at each other for a heated moment, a moment full of meaning, then she rushes me, unbuttoning my shirt as fast as she can, I grabbing for the buttons she's missed. We're kissing again as she peels the shirt from my body and we drop the shirts to the floor. So much skin, and all mine! I start to peel her bra off but am confounded by the contraption. She laughs low--who knew her laugh could be so sexy?--and reached around to unclasp the garment, which she threw next to the shirts. I shouldn't stare, but she's so damn beautiful. I reach out a questing hand to touch her, each touch bringing a sigh of longing from her. Finally, she catches my hand, looking deeply into my eyes.

"I don't want this to be a rebound, Toby," she says gently. I agree, but for some reason I get the feeling we're not talking about the same things. I draw her close anyway and she comes to me, despite her words. This next kiss was more than gentle, exploratory, tasting and testing. I needed her and gods be praised! she needed me too. Those nails of hers gently trailed along my shoulders and down my back and I shivered, sighing into her warm mouth. She tasted and smelled so sweet. This was wonderful! Then it happened. Our kisses, up to now, had been soft and innocent. But the moment I felt the soft hint of her tounge, gently, testingly probing my bottom lip, I lost it. I grabbed two handfuls of her hair and deepened the kiss the best way I knew how. Must've worked because Liberty did the same to me. All the hurt and anger came out in that moment for us both, all teeth and tongue and questing hands. We had a time out of time and we were going to make the most of it. She pulled my hair; bit my lip. Hard. I bit and sucked at wonderful area between her neck and shoulder. She was on top of me, all movement as she writhed on top of me, hands everywhere. She was driving me insane. So I flipped her back, straddling her for a moment as she gave me a scorching kiss I'll always remember. I was ready. And it looked like she was, too. Unthinkingly, I slipped a hand down the front of her jeans to explore. Oh yeah, she was definately more than ready for me. That is, until I reached for the button of her jeans. She freaked, slapping my hand away, eyes wide with fear as she curled into a ball and cried, wailing JT's name. I stared at her a moment, perplexed, then I understood and started crying, myself. JT. How could we betray our love, our friend, like that? And so soon? What sort of friend was I, trying to get the woman of my dead best friend into my bed? Friend? Hell, what kind of **man** was I?

"Liberty," I said, reaching out to comfort her. She merely shrunk from my touch and burrowed deeper, covering her eyes as she repeated his name over and over. "Liberty," I tried again. "We have to talk about this! It's not going to go away..." I trailed off as she stubbornly clung to her position. "It's not going to go away," I repeated. "We have something for each other, and if we don't deal with this rationally, it's going to spin out of control. Think, Liberty, you're the smart one. Where do you think this is going to go if we pretend it doesn't exist?"

Liberty was watching me now. Slowly she stood up, nodding, and walked over to me, head lowered. When she reached me, she put a hand on my shoulder, say in a low, wounded voice, "Toby, I don't know what this is between us. I do know it needs time we don't have right now. I'm just...I'm just not ready to let go of JT yet. I was his oatmeal, remember?" We both laugh at that and she pulls me closer. "I do want to thank you though, Toby, through all of this you've been an awesome friend." And, with that, she slipped her arms around me. No passion in this hug, just simple comfort, simple friendship. I cradled her head in my hands and gently guided her to my shoulder, and we stood like this for many minutes. That is, until we heard a voice in the hallway.

"We'll talk in here, it's probably emp..."We look up, still locked together as a pair of blue and a pair of brown eyes stare at us, widening in shock. Liberty and I freeze, to shocked to even think to move, though the warmth of her body still seeps into my body and take a chance on enjoying it despite the situation. The girls' faces change: Emma's to puzzled anger, and Mia's to anger and disgust. Her lips curl back and a soft "Humph" slips from her lips. That shocks me from the lethargy holding Liberty and me together, and we turn our heads toward each other. Two words:

"Oh _damn_."


	3. Discovery, Comfort, Discovery Pt2

_**Dream A Little Dream Of Me, Sweetheart**_

_Chapter Two: Libery's POV_

Emma and I are staring at each other. We've been friends off and on for years now, but JT's death has brought us closer together again. I'm thinking about him as I always do, him and our baby, out there somewhere in the world. America. I sigh for what seems the ninetieth time and lower my head. Mia--why the hell is she even here?--is giving furtive glances at Emma like she wants to talk but can't. Some girl I don't know is whispering condolances in my ear, nonsense words I wish she'd whisper to someone else. And if she keeps patting my damn knee...then she trills, "Poor Toby, poor, poor Tobykins, he'll need some comfort too." I glance up at her and sees she's looking at Toby, all wide, blinking brown eyes and pouty smile. She would flirt with Toby at a time like this??? There's only one word for a girl like that: slut. I move away from her,

my He's not _**your**_ Toby, girl!

and come face-to-face with _him_. Toby. He's right in the middle of the stairs, watching me so intently that it makes me pause a moment. My Toby, who'd been so good to me in the days after JT's passing. To avoid remembering, I snarl at him. He flashes me a hurt look, then moved. I passed up the stairs, making my way down the hall. Toby and Ashley's parents had started locking their bedroom door when out and we kids are coming over. I slide into Ashley's room, then stop and think. She and Jimmy might want to have some quiet time there. Toby's dad built a removable ramp for Jimmy to use whenever he came to visit. Anyway, there was only one room left: Toby's. I sigh again, then step inside. Instantly I'm stuck back in time, a happier time when the future was unknown and anything was possible. Toby's mirror, lined with pictures of the two of them. Hey, a few even had me! I step over, intrigued. The one of us in grade 8. Emma, Manny, JT, Toby, and me. We all had our arms around each other, wide smiles on our faces. Well, except for JT, who'd been sticking out his tongue in a silly guesture. Another picture, the boys with Sean the brief time they were friends. JT and Sean on the basketball court, Toby standing slightly behind them. He never was good at sports. Neither was JT. come to think of it. Other pictures; other times. He wasted so much time getting to me! So many years wasted, who knows what could've been. That thought tears at my heart as everything comes rushing back and I dissolve in a rush of tears. I throw myself on the bed and pour out my frustrations.I talk to him, cursing him, asking him why he left me. I cry until I can't cry anymore. And just when I think I can't take anymore, a voice breaks into my sorrow.

"Liberty?" He's holding out a handkerchief and staring at me intently. I refuse to think about the look in his eyes. To cover my confusion, I take refuge in rudness.

"What do you want? What are you doing here? I wipe my face with the sleeve of my shirt rather than take his handkerchief. I know my eyes are swollen and I must look a mess. His eyes appraise me. I see concern there, then so much tenderness that I want to cry again.

"I want you to use this handkerchief, and this _is_ my room, after all," he smiles. Oh, that smile! When did it get so...well, so? Toby's grown the past few years. Well, I suppose we all have. Don't get me wrong, Toby's not, like, one of those guys who's a total geek one year, then goes away for the summer break and comes back all hottie, but there's a certain...maturity to his face. That's it a quiet maturity that I find attractive. His eyes only add to that. Dark and goodnatured, yet seeking and probing while giving nothing away if that's not what he wants. He intrigues me, has for some time now. I mean, the way he stepped up to the plate after JT...not going there. I need something to focus on to keep the tears from coming back. Toby's still holding out his handkerchief and I use that as a focus point to keep the tears at bay.

He sits on the bed next to me now, he's close, far, far too close to me. I feel his body heat matching mine, I make a sound, yet can't bring myself to move. I sway away slightly, lifting my face to stare at him. He curls his hand around my face, turning me to him. Can he tell my trembling? Then he starts to wipe away the tears still on my face with his cloth. But he's doing more than that, isn't he? He's looking at me tenderly, and his touch is so gentle, so reverent. He's treating me like a porcelain doll and it's been so, so long! But wait, what's he doing?? He's sliding my shirt a bit to the side and I should protest, I really, really should but he's slid my bra strap down and he's kissing my shoulder. The first kiss we had shared, his lips were warm and dry, pleasant. This time his lips are hot, as is the heat coming from his body. A shocked moan leaves my lips and I really _should _make him stop, I should and I will. In a moment. Oh, God, his hot mouth is sliding up my shoulder, butterfly kisses that make me tingle, then the heat of his mouth whispering to me that I'm very beautiful. I know I'm not beautiful. No one's ever called me that but my parents, nobody but...I will NOT go there! And it's been too long, too damn long. No loving words since I found out I was expecting. I wouldn't let him say it. And now this. I cry out, siezing the moment. Throwing my arms around him, pulling him in by his neck. He stumbled into me, eyes widening, then recovering as I slipped my hands down his back, needing to touch him. He grabbed my hips, bringing me closer, and it felt right; natural. I feel bold as I kiss him again, and oh! how soft his hands as they settle on either side of my face as if I were something precious. His hands and mouth are soothing me, lulling me...heating me. Toby must have sensed it, because the kiss changed, getting wilder. What had started out as a simple taste test had become a gorging feast. I kept hearing groans and it took me a moment to realize that they were coming from me. I was drowning in his kisses. I wanted to dig in his back but settled for lightly trailig my nails over his back. I feel myself moving against him mindlessly; I feel his response. This shouldn't be happening, there are other things we need to consider! I heave a sigh of relief as he pushes me away, then I gasp again as he lifts my shirt fromm my body. I freeze, watching him; his eyes meet mine with hot chocolate intensity. Suddenly he's more than just a friend, more than just a gentle young man who had my best interests at heart. I wanted Toby with an intensity that scared the hell out of me.

I came at him and attacked the buttons on his shirt. Toby assisted me as if his shirt was strangling him and he needed it off as much as I did. Our mouths are fused together and his shirt's off. I barely notice as we drop our shirts to the floor. Toby starts to take my bra off but tangles himself in it. I giggle slightly, watching him, then helping him drop my final barrier. And the look on his face! He simply stares at me, eating me up witih his eyes. And his touch, so soft, questing, reverent. But there's something I need to say. I take his hand, stopping him, and make him look at me.

"I don't want this to be a rebound, Toby," I say.He nods in agreement, but I can tell he's puzzled. He reaches for me anyway and I don't resist. The next kiss he gives is so soft, so gentle that it brings tears to my eyes. Who knew Toby could kiss like this? Each one felt like he was tasting and savoring my mouth. As I was his. I gave into the urge to dig my nails into his skin, though gently. I didn't want to hurt him. I did want to taste him as he was tasting me, to savor the full impact of his mouth. I tentitavely flicked the tip of my tongue over his mouth, over his bottom lip, exploring the territory. The next thing I know he'd crushed me to him, hands in my hair, kiss hard and deep. For a moment, I was scared. Every idiotic romance novel came back to me. Kisses hard and deep belonged to grown, experienced men, not 18-year-old boys I know. But something in his kiss called to me and suddenly I was matching him in his wildness. I was angry, I was hurt, and I had to get it out before it choked me. And Toby was the one to accept it. He was everywhere, mouth on my neck, hands pulling me down to the bed, pulling me on top of him. We were biting each other, hands roaming, I wanted him so much! I missed that passion and love and affection and attention. I hadn't had any since...

That's when the spell started to break. Toby had flipped me onto my back. I was still half-caught in the dreamy, hungry moment, still wanting him, yet reality kept inserting itself. I slipped a bit back into the moment when he slid a hand down my jeans, into my panties. I arched up into his hand and I knew he knew how much I wanted him. But I panicked when he started to unbutton my jeans. JT had done this our first time together, and the slow, gentle way Toby worked at the button, the soft yet concentrating look on his face, reminded me so of JT that I couldn't take it. I slapped at his hand, curling away from him, crying bitterly. Oh, JT, my love...what have I done??? It hadn't been so long, after all. I vaguely heard Toby crying too, behind me, but I couldn't muster the strength to get up to comfort him. He was hurting too.

"Liberty," Toby said softly, reaching for me. I knew that if he touched me, I would've given into him just to touch JT again. But I couldn't. We couldn't. I heard him talking, telling me that our feelings for each other weren't going to go away, so I curled up further, not wanting to hear his words. JT, I wailed silently. Why, JT, why?

"It's not going to go away," Toby intoned. We have something for each other and if we don't deal with this rationally, it's going to spin out of control..." It already has, I thought sadly. "...Think, Liberty, you're the smart one. Where do you think this is going to go if we pretend it doesn't exist"

I wanted to tell him that we were both just clinging to JT by each of us turning to his closest friends, the ones who knew him better than anyone. I left that unsaid, though, merely nodding as I got up, unmindful of our near naked states. I walked to him, putting a hand on his shoulder.

"Toby, I don't know what this is between us. I do know it needs time we don't have right now. I'm just...I'm just not ready to let go of JT yet. I was his oatmeal, remember?" That wasn't so funny the first time Toby had told me about his and JT's last conversation, but now it brought bittersweet laughter for us both. I bring him closer to me and say, "I do want to thank you though, Toby, through all of this you've been an awesome friend." Then I hugged him gratefully, with friendly love and comfort. It felt so good when he held my head in his hands, lowering it to his shoulder. I cuddled into his warm embrace and thought about old loves never forgotten, and possible new loves and a friendship always remembered.

A voice in the hall broke the warm, gentle moment. "We'll talk in here, it's probably emp..." I sweep my head from Toby's shoulder and we both turn our heads to the sound, though we don't have the chance to unlock our arms, and we're still pressed together. Crap. This doesn't look good, does it?

The voice belongs to Emma, who's with...hell. Mia, of all people. Now there's a problem. I don't like JT's last girlfriend, I close to hate her, in fact, and I'm sure she's going to use this against me. And Emma? Well, on her own she'd be no problem, especially if I asked her not to say anything. However. she tells Manny _**everything**_, and chances are by the end of tomorrow all of Degrassi will have the whole story, plus whater Mia decides to add. I watch her lip curl up, hear the almost inaudible "Humph" that escapes her mouth. That galvanizes Toby and me to split apart, and we look at each other. Two words:

"Oh _damn_"

What more is there to say, really?


	4. ChangesBecoming A Man

_**Dream A Little Dream of Me, Sweetheart**_

_Chapter Four_

"Well, well, well, what do we have here?" Mia's voice dripped with contempt as she entered the room. Her eyes scanned Toby, who blushed, then cruelly on Liberty, who covered her breasts with one hand, then dropped to grab her shirt with the other. She held the shirt in front of her until she could spin around and slip it back over her head. Toby, however, arched his brow and crossed his arms over his chest.

"What are you doing in my room, Mia?" he asked slowly. Emma gasped, eyes wide, as Liberty spun around, stunned. The hard voice and look Toby was using was not...well, Toby! Emma looked at his face and was dismayed to see the boy she'd known so long was gone. A man was standing in front of her, one who wasn't playing games. It made her answer a bit more meek than she'd intended.

"Sorry Toby, it was my fault. I...I thought Mia and I could talk about a few things." She looked at Toby, willing him to understand while the two other girls glared daggers at each other. Emma sighed inwardly. Toby's voice dropped dangerously, taking on a low, silky tone that boggled Emma's mind.

"And why was she here in the first place? She's not welcome here." Emma couldn't answer, Toby was frightening the hell out of her. Where was the compassion that made Toby what he weas? A quick peek at the others confirmed that Toby's change of attitude had similar results. Mia recovered first.

"Emma invited me. Trust me, I'd never have come _here_ if I'd known the two of _you_ would've been here," she spat out. "And you two forget that _I_ was his girlfriend when he died. _Liberty_ was just his old--"

She never got to finish the sentence. Liberty, moving faster than any of them would ever have given her credit for, raced across the room and slapped the other girl across the face, hard. Mia stumbled and fell into the opposite wall, crying out and cradling her cheek. Emma yelled Liberty's name as the girl started to step into the hall to attack the girl again, and Toby put an arm around her to stop her, whispering in her ear.

"Stop love, and let me handle this. I'll take care of everything." By now, Mia had recovered and was gearing up for an attack of her own. Emma had stepped back a few paces, not knowing exactly what was going on and wanting to stay out of the way. As soon as Mia stepped forward, snarling out an obscenity at Liberty as she swing a fist, Toby caught her arm. Mia was a little thing, so that Toby, even with his average height, was looking down at her. He tightened his grip on her arm, making her cry out. Emma's and Liberty's eyes bugged as this different Toby continued to rule. He lowered his face until it was inches away from Mia's, then snarled out one soft word: Go.

Mia snatched her arm away from Toby, tears streaming down her face as she raced downstairs, Toby turning to grab Liberty's hand before following Mia down the stairs. Liberty followed, bemused. Emma brought up the rear, still stunned at the turn of events, but still having seen Toby taking Liberty's hand. The protective way he'd hovered over her in the room. And, of course, the lack of clothes and their embrace. She knew they'd shared a kiss after JT's memorial service, courtesty of Manny, who couldn't hold ice water, let alone a secret. But she'd thought it was only a one-time thing. After Toby had told Liberty that JT had still loved her at the time of his stabbing, the girl had torn into him, then had pretty much avoided him at all costs. But now? Emma smiled slightly. It was time they saw each other in a new light, and moved on. She knew they'd never forget JT--none of them would, ever--but it made sense that the two people JT loved most should love each other. It's what JT would've wanted, that they be happy together, Emma believed.

Mia had raced downstairs, but now, in the middle of the living room, she had no place else to go. Toby and Liberty came down slowly, side-by-side, hands still linked. Ashley looked up from where she was listlessly plucking at a bowl of popcorn, and was startled and confused by what she saw: Mia, crying her eyes out. Toby--whom she was suddenly, instinctively, afraid of--walking down slowly, no shirt on, and holding Liberty's hand. Liberty looked pissed...and Ashley noticed that not only was the girl's shirt on backward _and_ inside out, but that she wore no bra. Ashley's brow furrowed as she stood up from the couch and started toward the kids. Mia had her head in her hands and was sobbing like her heart was broken. Liberty looked pissed. She looked at Emma, who shrugged in confusion--yet had a satisfied smile on her face. And Toby..her stepbrother...she looked at him and wondered where the baby brother, the boy, had gone. And she mourned that loss.

Toby stepped up to Mia, letting go of Liberty's hand and giving Mia a little push. "I thought I told you to go!" he snarled at her. Everyone else looked outside; it was still sheeting rain outside, lightning flashed every few minutes and thunder was almost a constant sound now. Wide eyes from every part of the room centered on the scene taking place in the middle of the room. What was going on?

Mia stumbled, cringing. "Where do you want me to go? It's storming out there!" She was afraid. She knew Toby wouldn't outright hit her, but somehow she was more afraid of him than she had been of her abusive baby's father. She backed away a few steps and he followed.

"That's not my problem. You're not wanted here, Mia. Leave or I'll carry you out there myself. I suggest you either run home or find someplace dry until the rain stops." Mia hesitated. "_**OUT**_!" Toby thundered. Liberty, Emma, and Ashley cringed; Mia shrieked and ran for the door, clawing at it in an effort to get it open. She finally managed to unlock it and twist the door open, flying outside. Ashley ignored the wide eyes taking in the spectacle and rushed to close the door. She turned her back to it, leaning, and watched this new, dangerous brother of hers as he turned his attention on Liberty, holding her face in his hands and scanning her eyes.

"Liberty, are you ok?" he watched her until she looked up at him and smiled. Relieved, he smiled back and stroked her cheek. The old Toby was back, gentle and smiling. But he'd changed. Liberty knew it, Ashley and Emma knew it, so did everyone in the room. The girl who'd flirted with Toby earlier sighed and knew she'd lost her chance.

Toby looked around the room, smiling, then without another word he took Liberty's hand and led the woman he loved back upstairs.


	5. Dreams and After The Rain

_**Dream A Little Dream Of Me, Sweetheart**_

_Chapter Five_

Liberty Van Zant rolled over and sighed softly in her sleep. Toby had taken her back upstairs, to his room. It was a little different this time. Not wanting to rush or scare her, he'd sat her on one side of the bed, taking the other, cross-legged, and started telling funny stories about JT. It had been a wonderful, bittersweet time full of laughter and tears as each had reminiced and tried to top each other with the funniest story. Finally, exhausted by the night's events, they'd fallen asleep without thinking next to each other.

One moment Liberty was perched on that comfortable ledge between wakefulness and sleep, then all of a sudden she noticed it was bright, very bright. It looked like white clouds were surrounding her. Before she could ponder this very much, a thin pair of arms slipped around her and a cheeful voice sounded in her ear.

"Bout time ya got here, snookypums," the voice said gleefully. _Snookypums_?? Only one person _ever_ made up goofy names for her like that. She spun around, a wide smile on her face.

"JT!!!" she screamed happily, launching herself at him. He caught her and swung her around, then set her down, kissing her as she kissed him. "Oh, I've missed you so much! Is this a dream?" Suddenly, the thought that this might really be a dream terrified her. Dreams meant that you eventually had to wake up and face reality. A reality that no longer included JT Yorke. Liberty felt a tear make its way down her cheek.

"Hey now, no tears, stop that," JT chided gently as he kissed her tears away. "Yes, love, it's a dream, and I don't have much time, so listen closely. Are you listening?"

Liberty nodded, but so many questions were crowding her mind. She wanted to be with him so much!

"Liberty!" her name brought her back to the moment. She looked into JT's face and noticed it looked so sad. Did he think she was forgetting him?

"JT, I think about you all the time! I'd never, ever, _**ever**_ forget you, you know that! And neither would Toby! We were just talking about you tonight." She beamed happily, surely that would make him feel better. So imagine her suprise when JT's sad look only deepened.

"That's what I wanted to talk to you about, love. You have to move on. And so does Toby. The paths you're both on now can only lead to lonliness and heartache." He looked at her, searching her face for a reaction.

"What? What are you talking about JT? I don't understand..."But she _did_ understand, and they both knew it. Another tear slipped down her cheek. She wouldn't--couldn't!!--accept this. Forget about JT? It would tear her apart. She felt JT's arms come around her again, and it was like he could read her mind.

"Not forget, love. Neither of you would forget me by moving on. And what everyone's been telling you all these weeks is right--I DO want you to be happy. And if that means finding love with someone else, then so be it. What you were going to make yourself a widow before you even got married? Decide that you were never going to love again? You're only 18, Liberty, and it's foolish to think you could live out the rest of your life without love. You have too many wonderful qualities to deny yourself happiness and to deny some wonderful guy the chance to love you. And what better choice than Toby? He's your closest friend. The two of you keep my memory alive. You have so much in common it's scary. And you compliment each other well. It only makes sense."

Liberty stared at JT. This couldn't be her JT, he sounded so...mature. He was making so much sense, but part of her still rebelled. She loved JT, he was everything she'd ever wanted in a guy. And now he's gone. _But Toby's not_, a tiny voice whispered in her brain. She wanted to shake her head in denial but she couldn't. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw JT approach again.

"Listen, Liberty, I have to go now," he said, forcing a NO!! from Liberty as she clung to him tearfully. He embraced her lovingly for a moment, then gently pushed her away slightly, tipping her face to his. "I love you, Lib. I always will. But you have to let go. It doesn't mean you have to forget me or stop loving me, what it means is that you have to give yourself the chance to be open to life again, to love again. No matter who you choose, make sure he's worthy of you. And, if it's not Toby, please let him down gently. And watch over him, Lib. Love or not, he needs you now more than ever. You need each other more than you think. I have to go." As she cried, both from loss and from new understanding, he kissed her forehead, then her eyes, then, finally, her mouth. As she tried to pull him closer, crying his name, he whispered, feather-soft, against her lips.

"I. Love. You."

And he was gone.

She was awake, feeling like she'd cried enough for several oceans. But her eyes were curiously dry now. She felt something; Toby had fallen asleep beside her and now slipped an arm about her waist while he dreamed. She turned to study his face a little, watching as a wide smile crossed his lips and he laughed as though sharing a joke. A moment later he started to talk in his sleep. Bemused, she watched him.

"Of course I'll keep an eye on her," Toby said to his dream companion. "I love her too. And I love you, Buddy. Hope to see you soon." He stopped talking, but that sweet, contented smile never left his face. The dream wasn't a dream, after all.

Liberty lay in the darkness, staring up at the ceiling, thinking on all JT had said to her, all that had happened this night. She thought of Toby. Toby, holding her while the doctor gave them that _awful_ news, the news that JT had been taken away from them. Toby, arms around her again as they'd told JT's grandma and he had to catch the old woman as she'd collapsed in tears. Toby, enlisting his parents to help JT's grandmother with the burial arrangements she was too heartsick to deal with, stepping in himself where he could. Toby, holding her up and keeping her sane during the funeral. Toby helping her with her most daunting tasks, setting up the memorial service, then supporting her against Mia at the cleaning of JT's locker. Sitting next to her at the protest at that Spirit Squad competition against Lakehurst. Toby kissing her after the memorial. She'd almost been ready to move on with him then, she remembered. Almost--until he'd told her that JT had died loving her. He wasn't coming back. Why did she turn away from Toby then? The time they'd lost.

And it was Toby now. No matter where she turned, it was Toby. Toby now, holding her, pulling her closer to him even as he slept on. Her rock. Her protector. People thought of him as cowardly, a nerd. They were wrong, especially after tonight. Tonight had changed Toby in so many ways, and she'd never think of him as cowardly, or as a boy, again. Tonight had made a man of him, and JT, her first true love, had tonight given him permission to be _her_ man. It fit.

"Thank you, my dearest love," she whispered up to the ceiling. "I'll take good care of him. We love you." Then she burrowed into Toby, laying her head on his chest even as his arms came to wrap protectively around her. They'd have much to discuss tomorrow, and she was actually looking forward to it.

_**Prologue**_

Ashley Kirwin walked heavilly up the stairs. It was 3 in the morning, and the rain had finally stopped--but it was too late to send anyone home. The "party" had improved only slightly after Mia's departure. Emma had offered to leave too, since it was her fault Mia was there in the first place, but Ashley nixed that idea, telling the younger girl she could stay until morning. The rest of the kids were whispering excitedly, and Ashley felt a pang of disgust, biting her tongue and counting to ten to keep from yelling at them all. There was going to be a new topic of gossip at Degrassi come Monday morning. Ashley had had a few kids she actually trusted help her clean up the mess from the party and had then assigned sleeping arrangements. She knew her parents were going to kill her and Toby in the morning for not kicking out the boys, but Ash was praying they'd understand about the rain--or that she could rouse everyone and kick them out before her folks got home. She sighed, that seemed to be the thing for her to do tonight. She sighed again, just because.

As she reached the top of the stairs, Ash decided on impulse to check on her brother and Liberty. What she saw softened her heart and brought tears to her eyes. Toby had pulled Liberty on top of him; her head rested comfortably on his chest. His arms were even now tightening protectively around her, unconciously letting her know all was well. One hand curved around her waist, the other was tangled in her hair. Ashley smiled, a goofy, giddy smile as she stared fondly at the two of them. Her brother had grown up tonight, and had gotten the woman he loved. Somehow, Ash knew that JT would approve, just as she knew the sun was going to shine tommorw, banishing the dark and the rain into memory. Let her parents catch _these_ two tomorrow--Ashley would defend them with her life if she had to. Her brother had earned this night.

Ashley whistled softly as she snuggled into her warm bed, whispering a quick goodnight to JT Yorke before drifting off to sleep. Oh, yes, tommorrow was going to be a _beautiful_ day.

_**End**_


End file.
